How to Have More Patience

Kelly Sinclair: 00:00:00

How long does it take to actually hit your goals? How long does it take to, quote, be successful? How much stamina do I need to play this game of entrepreneurship? Like, when's it going to happen?

Kelly Sinclair: 00:00:22

This is the Entrepreneur School Podcast where we believe you can run a thriving business and still make your family a priority. This show is all about supporting you the emerging or early stage Entrepreneur on your journey from solopreneur to CEO, while wearing all of the other hats in your life. My name is Kelly Sinclair, and I'm a brand and marketing strategist who started a business with two kids under 3am, a corporate PR girl turned entrepreneur after I learned the hard way that life is too short to waste doing things that burn you out. On this show, you'll hear inspiring stories from other business owners on their journey, and learn strategies to help you grow a profitable business, while making it all fit into the life that you want. Welcome to Entrepreneur School.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:01:10

Hello, hello, I wanted to bring you another one of my what I call entrepreneurship in real life episodes. So these are the episodes where I share a bit more like behind the scenes of either something that's like going on. Personally, in my business I talked about last year how I went on strike for a month. So if you want to hear about that, you can head back to an episode from sort of earlier on in the show. But things like that, where I'm kind of either, you know, shifting my mindset around something. And I just want to like walk through it with you. Because one of the reasons that I created this podcast was to really create an outlet, and a space to have conversations about the challenging side of entrepreneurship as well, particularly, you know, as a parent, and how we're actually navigating this because I think it's really important to see the raw from behind the scenes from people, because so much of what we see online these days is such a highlight reel, that is not reality. So this was interesting, because it's not based on something that I feel like I'm struggling with right now, it's more about something that I'm really focused on shifting for myself. And that is kind of around the question of timing. And oh, long does it take to actually hit your goals? How long does it take to, quote, be successful? How much stamina? Do I need to play this game of entrepreneurship? Like, when's it going to happen? Right, and so really like this is all couched in the idea of patience? And how much patience do we actually need in order to get where we want to go with our businesses? And I remember the beginning for sure, like the first couple of years of my business, I was just like, I wish someone could just tell me like, how long is it gonna take to get to where I'm trying to go? Right? Because we know that there's no such thing as an overnight success. And that's not the expectation coming in. But like, can I please have some kind of reference for how long I might be at this, you know, if you are a marathon runner, you know that you're gonna go on a slow pace, but you still know where the finish line is, like, where is the friggin finish line in business. And the reality is, it's not it's not even there, because you're just constantly evolving into something new, figuring out something that works, letting go of things that don't work, all of that stuff is just always happening running in the background. And for me, I am a very ambitious goal setting person, I really want to make my goals happen, I want to hit those financial targets, I want to see that quote, again, I'm always gonna say, quote, success, because, as you know, I think it's really important that we all define success for ourselves individually, and know what that looks like for us, because that's, that's truly one of the strategies is going to help you to navigate through this and to not be frustrated, because I have felt all of that frustration so many times over the course of what's coming up on seven years, in being a business owner. And it's because there's been lots of shifts and changes and things that are sort of more unexpected that I've dealt with, and then that's what's going to happen because, you know, you'll come up with new ideas or you'll want to try a new program or you want to launch something or you're going to get rejected or turned down from something that you applied for wanting to be part of all those things are going to happen.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:05:03

But one thing that I've been focusing on, and this is what I really want to share with you, my word of the year, for 2024, I always do set one, I just kind of let it come to me when it comes. But this year, my word is allow. And it has many meanings. It means allow things, allow myself to like, explore what's exciting to follow ideas that I have to also allow myself to let go of my need to control the outcome. So I think that innately for me, and probably for a lot of you, we go, okay, here's where I want to go, I'm going to create this program, or I'm going to have this many clients, like I want to make $100,000, I need to have X number of clients this year, which means I need to get, you know, two or three a month, which means I need to do all these sales calls or whatever. And you're like reverse engineering, and you're coming up with all these numbers. And you're like, here's my wonderful plan. And then it's like, but somebody like comes out of the blue and says, Hey, would you be able to help me with XYZ? And you're like, Well, I don't have like a package on the shelf for that. Do? Do I explore it? Do I go there? Do I try something else? Right? And this is where for me, I'm going, I'm allowing, I'm allowing people to show up and say, I'm interested in working with you this way? What would that look like?

Kelly Sinclair: 00:06:34

So I'm allowing one of the things I'm allowing right now is to explore doing a more long term contract with another company, to partner with another PR firm and support them and their clients in a way that I haven't done in years since I literally left my previous job at a PR firm, and swore I would never do that again. But it feels good. I feel aligned with it. I want to explore it. So I'm allowing it. And that's that's the attitude, I think that's helping me to be less frustrated around how long things are going to take, like, when are we going to you know, when is my program going to take off and like, have consistent people coming into it all of the time, because that's the goal, right? But I know that it just takes longer than we want it to, obviously, and it takes longer than we're expecting are planning for sometimes too. And sometimes what happens is we can get frustrated about that. But then we throw it in the garbage, we burn it all down, and we go some other direction. And we're like, well, I that didn't work. So I better try something else. And I honestly think that sometimes we throw things away, right before the tweak that would have made it all blow up right before the you know, shift that would have made it actually work. And we're getting so close to the finish line. And then we're technically quitting even though we're telling ourselves we're not quitting, because we're just, you know, pivoting into a new direction.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:08:12

So I really think it's, it's taking a lot more time. And it's a hard thing to lean into this, to lean into this kind of the pace that's meant to be that everything is going to happen in its own time. And I have to say, a shout out to a client of mine who's really helped me to see this as well, who's just like this gem of a human being. And she talks about this in terms of this is really a change in a paradigm, right, because we're conditioned to be ambitious to set goals to like want to do XYZ by the time we hit, you know, age, whatever. The other day, I was doing kind of a recap, introduction post on social media, and talking about how I was focused on checking off all the boxes and you know, culturally, societally in life, we kind of know what those are. Or at least there are some that are out there for us to choose from. And for me, it was like, Yes, I want a degree. Yes. I want a career. Guess I want to get married. Yes, I want to own a home. Yes, I need a dog and two children. And I did all of those things. By the time I was 2929, Married at 23 homeowner 22. Like, all of these things, because I was like yep, yep, let's get it. Let's get it. I actually had a boss one time, who liked to give like joke awards, and he gave me this like joke Award for Most life events in one year. Because that was how I rolled. And now I'm trying to lean into this like, chill pace of allowing things to happen when they're going to happen instead of trying to force them.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:09:52

So back to my wonderful client. She has a daughter who has cerebral palsy, and her daughter did it walk until she was seven years old. And she told me that her awareness of this like, obviously, she wanted to believe that her daughter is going to walk, and she wants to support her daughter and being able to walk. And but if she didn't let go of the timeline, then she would have just been frustrated, and not able to enjoy anything, probably until that happened. And imagine the life of just being frustrated and wishing you could do something and focusing on sort of the negative really is what that is, for that long. Like, it was just such an awareness to me of yes, this is really how we should just lean into letting it happen. And the more that I can tap back into that, and like literally every single day I'm going, it's going to happen when it happens, it's going to happen when it happens. And then doesn't mean to not do anything. So there's a sort of nuance here, where you're still actively working towards your vision. However, you've let go of the deadlines. You've let go of that it has to happen by next month, or else I'm, you know, done and I'm going to quit, I'm going to try something different. Instead, like, Does it still feel good? Does it still feel like I'm on the right path? Am I still excited by this? Should I continue to follow it. And so that's really changing that paradigm from that hustle mentality into this flow.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:11:35

And I also learned in the last year about a concept from an author called Dr. Benjamin Hardy, and Dan Sullivan. So they wrote a few books together. And the concept is called the gap in the game. And really, the idea is that you can look at everything from two viewpoints, you can look forward and see the gap as to where you are not the area where you haven't hit your goals where things haven't happened the way that you want. And if you focus on that gap, you're always going to feel behind, you're always going to feel like you haven't accomplished anything that you're not there. And you're going to be having this really negative mental talk that can really damage your ability to move forward. Or you can look backwards at the gain. And be always seeing how far you've come, how you've made progress, how you've worked towards something, how something has happened, that shows a positive forward momentum, and be looking at that all the time, you're always going to be in that position. I remember this summer, we got a puppy. And I thought, oh my gosh, this was the worst idea. Because you're all of a sudden back in this place where you're I was trading a dog and like as a parent, I feel like it's okay for me to say that having a puppy is harder than having a toddler but for a shorter amount of time. Because they don't wear diapers, they don't communicate, they just pee on the floor, like all the time. And so every single day when I saw something happen, like it was easy to be like, Oh, we're never going to sleep. There's this period of time for three or four days where I'm sleeping on the floor. Because we're trying to create train this dog. And she's whining that she has to go out and I have a sore neck and I'm sleeping on the floor that is this ever going to end. But if every single day I got up. Oh, you know, last night, Betty slept for an extra hour. And you know, today she learned how to sit. And yesterday she didn't know how to sit it was like this is the best example of looking at the gap or the game because you can be stuck in the frustration. Or you can see how progress is happening. And when you focus on the progress happening, it makes it easier to get through the harder stuff. And then it also that happens quicker. So it's really all about the way that you're looking at things. And so to finish up my little like, whatever. This is Sturman that I'm delivering right now. I just feel like that is a shift that if you catch yourself, looking at the gap, wondering when it's going to happen, focused on how it hasn't happened yet. You have an opportunity to think about how far you've come our brains just as you know, we don't give ourselves enough credit. First of all, we need to celebrate these things that are happening along the way. So whether that means you're just writing down that like something good happened today. You got a new client, you met somebody new, you invested some time for yourself, you took a nap, like whatever it was that made you feel good. And focusing on more of those on a daily basis is going to help you to let go of that need to achieve the goal by a certain date.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:15:01

I feel like we're at this place like this episode will be coming out in February, where, you know, maybe some of us set goals for the beginning of the year. And we're going, oh my gosh, it's halfway through this quarter now. And I haven't yet gotten to that place. So what does that mean? Instead of like, attaching a label to yourself, and feeling that this means I'm a failure, because I haven't achieved what I set out to achieve yet. Instead, can we look at the things that we have done to make progress towards that, and or things that maybe have come up instead, because if you're like me, and you're leaning into the allowing different things that I did not have on my radar at all, at the beginning of the year, have already started to come up. And I think that's amazing. And so it's challenging to flip from this, like culturally ingrained, hustle, ambitious goal setting SMART goals, time bound goals, all of this that we have ingrained in us into a place where we're just going on our own schedule, because it's going to be individual for you, and for me, and for everybody else. And there really is no answer to the question of how long is it going to take, but to give yourself tools to support yourself in allowing it to take however long it's going to take, and I'm here for you every step of the way. So please reach out, please connect if you need support. I am here. Have a really, really, really great day, the rest of your week, and I will be back with you next week. Bye for now.

Kelly Sinclair: 00:16:38

You did it you just listen to another episode of the Entrepreneur School Podcast. It's like you just went to business school while you folded your laundry, prep dinner or picked up your kids at school. Thank you so much for being here. I want to personally celebrate your commitment to growing your business. You can imagine I'm throwing confetti for you right now. If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a review. Make sure you're subscribed and let us know you're listening by screenshotting this episode, and tagging us on Instagram, head to entrepreneurschool.ca for tons of tools and resources to help you grow your business while keeping your family a priority. You can subscribe to our email list and join our community. And until next time, go out there and do the thing.